An excerpt from Dr. Marybeth Crane's book "If Your Running Feet Could Talk"! Available here on our website.
Appendix I: Every runner needs a little humor!
I hope after reading this book you feel like part of our running communities. It never ceases to amaze me how I can travel to another part of the country or the world and instantly make new friends with other runners. We share the same experiences, goals and crazy traits across age, sex, and abilities. Runners are a world community. So I have included this list that has traveled the internet and has been edited many times by many groups. Here is our version:
You Know You Are a Runner When…..
- You roll your eyes when people ask, "how long was your last marathon?"
- You think it’s totally acceptable to stop at the side of the road and accept fruit or gatorade from a perfect stranger
- You are in a race and have to pee, bushes are now your friend
- You come up with weird answers to questions like "why do you run so much?"
- All your socks are either stained or torn.
- You can spit while running.
- You finish a race looking like you wrestled an alligator, and not only do you not care, but post the pictures on Facebook.
- You schedule family vacations around races.
- You spend more money on training clothes than work clothes.
- You secretly have a stash of 20+ pairs of old running shoes
- You have running withdrawal if you don't run or at least cross-train everyday.
- Your only excuse for not running is projectile vomit and even that’s questionable
- You wake up every morning in pain somewhere, and then rationalize it!
- Accelerade is your drug of choice.
- You can’t remember the last time you slept in on a Saturday
- You count hills as your friends.
- Your favorite food group is carbohydrates.
- You are always hungry.
- Your house, car and gym bag smells like Biofreeze.
- Your toe nails are black or falling off.
- You wear skimpier clothes than a pop star when running.
- You run through puddles instead of around them.
- You can blow nose with your index finger. (Snot rockets)
- You know exactly what a difference .10 miles can make.
- Your running peeps are like family.
- You have more inside jokes than a stand up comedian.
- Your running peeps know more about you than your spouse.
- You have or almost have been hit by a car.
- You can convert miles and kilometers in your head, but for any other math you need a calculator.
- You buy water and/or Gatorade by the case at Costco.
- You count Power Bars as a meal.
- You've become a professional blister popper.
- You have some funky looking tan lines
- You have a collector’s edition of "Chariots of Fire."
- You tell how old your shoes are by how many miles are on them
- LSD is not a narcotic.
- You can run 26.2 miles and never stop talking.
- You know your PR for every distance and the Boston qualifying time for your age.
- You know 20 different ways to combat plantar fasciitis and can spell and pronounce it correctly.
- When you reach your marathon goal, you think it’s perfectly normal to start planning your first Ironman…..
Feel free to add to the list and pass it on!